I Love My Mum

If the children of Britain really do love their mums, they’ll make sure their mums never ever see I Love My Mum.

Featuring the most spectacularly unappealing pair of characters in a movie since Die Antwoord in Chappie, this road trip “comedy”, about a mother and son who accidentally find themselves in the Maghreb and make their way to France via Spain, is a prescription for Naproxen. It’s truly unbearable to watch these nincompoops from the opening five minutes, wherein they fight over their last scraps of cheese, drive to a supermarket to get more cheese and unwittingly crash into a port from where they’re shipped in a container to Morocco. Thus begins their journey, which morphs from intending to go back home to rerouting to Calais, where the rich, estranged patriarch of the family takes residence.

Kierston Wareing plays the buffoonish, slovenly Olga. She’s somehow more likeable as the horribly toxic mother in Fish Tank. Opposite Wareing is Tommy French as Olga’s son Ron. The feature film debutant makes a convincing case for the most inept performer in Britain, helpless as Alberto Sciamma’s direction demands he intensifies the stunningly irritating characterisation of an adolescent blockhead. It’s extremely difficult to withstand his irksome presence, leading to genuine pleasure in the one good scene of this movie – after stealing a cabbie’s car and unexpectedly taking a few ad-hoc jobs for cash, the driver finds Ron at the end of the day and reclaims his vehicle by punching Ron in the face. Repeatedly.

The unassuming extras in the background in Morocco are the real stars, sparking curiosity about many things: Were release forms signed? Did the filmmakers get permission to shoot here? Are these people generally nonchalant because their objectionable representation (which reaches its nadir in a migrant boat scene) is less offensive than anonymously being part of the worst British movie since Keith Lemon: The Film? These inquiries are far more interesting to ponder than whatever will happen to the central duo, who are strung along on an adventure that’s more asinine than expecting a positive outcome for Brexit.

Britain’s already had Mother’s Day for 2019; is it supposed to be Matricide Day at the end of May? That’s the only rationale for why I Love My Mum would be given a cinematic release. But, of course, such a day is non-existent –just like the enjoyment to be derived here.

Musanna Ahmed

I Love My Mum is released in select cinemas on 31^st May 2019.

Watch the trailer for I Love My Mum here: