The Throne at Charing Cross Theatre

John Goldsmith’s The Throne is billed as a “witty and irreverent new comedy” in which Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II (Mary Roscoe) is locked in an explosive-rigged portable toilet with staunch anti-monarchist teacher Dr Derek Jones (Charlie Condou). Sadly, not only is there little wit or irreverence, there is no novelty or comedy in its extended reign either.

Monarch and republican are trapped in a contrived terrorist plot during a school visit in the year of the Golden Jubilee. This unbelievable circumstance forces them to converse with each other while sycophantic head Mr Carr (Michael Joel Bartelle) and the royal family try to resolve the crisis off-stage. 

At best, the premise is a five-minute sketch that could have had sharp satirical promise, especially in the wake of the Queen’s Platinum Jubilee celebrations and the current contentious climate around the institution. Alternatively, the idea offers an opportunity to construct a broader farce with a public figure known famously for reticence, impartiality and personal obscurity. Such a scenario invites one to imagine what the Queen might really be like while sitting privately on her porcelain throne or faced with unintended intimacy. 

Unfortunately, Goldsmith’s apparent monarchist deference stifles both satire and farce, instead stretching the conceit into an unamusing two-hour mediation that is predictable, bathetic and just painfully dull. Tangents on abolition, tradition, philosophy, science, religion and education are plopped awkwardly into the exchange, only to be flushed away quickly for the next one. Otherwise, the conversation is dragged out with tedious analogies and brief attempts at dramatic irony. Beyond the perfunctory monarchy-versus-republican debate – of which only a few wry barbs in the exchange hit the mark – a tepid, sentimental case for the Queen is affirmed unconvincingly by the conclusion. Unable to conceive of either a strong, reasoned case for the monarchy or any deep conviction in Jones’s anti-monarchist attitudes, the latter must temper them, of course. 

Admirable leads Condou and Roscoe are unable to make the weak caricatures of a dissenting yet deeply committed teacher and the matronly matriarch particularly funny. There is humour when Roscoe gives Her Royal Majesty some uncharacteristic physical gestures, but otherwise the performances remain restrained by the script and Anthony Biggs’s unimaginative, if competent direction. 

As a result, The Throne is neither a comedic skewering of the royals nor an endearingly fun lampoon. Ironically, the play ends up holding its eminent subject hostage and the audience as well.  

James Humphrey
Photo: Tristram Kenton

The Throne is at Charing Cross Theatre from 29^th June until 30^th July 2022. For further information or to book visit the theatre’s website here.