The Boys Are Kissing at Theatre 503

What would happen if, having witnessed the chaos ensued after two boys kissed at a playground, two super-glam and camp guardian angels of the gays came down to Earth to protect said children? This is the premise of playwright Zak Zarafshan’s debut play, a thought-provoking comedy imbued with witty humour and joy, as well as pop-culture references and provocative dances.

The play starts with two sets of parents, Matt and Sarah and Amira and Chloe, meeting at the latter’s house. Lucas and Samir are their respective sons, both nine years old. They’re best friends. They kissed. Clueless Matt – who is totally fine with it, although it is not clear what he is fine with – clumsily and unwarily walks into a “nature versus nurture” discussion, claiming that Samir must have been the one who initiated the kiss, being the son of a lesbian couple. His wife, brilliantly portrayed by Amy McAllister, is mainly worried about the other mums’ spitting hatred and bigotry on WhatsApp, preoccupied with preventing her son from becoming a social outcast, even if that means not inviting Samir to Lucas’ birthday party. The compassionate Chloe, who dreams of Range Rovers and white picket fences, tries to keep the peace – and keep the strong-headed (and pregnant) Amira from verbally annihilating everyone.

Amidst the chaos, however, nobody seems to be thinking about the kids, sitting on the staircase, listening in. After all, is it ever “all about the children”?

With pungent realism and humour, Zarafshan manages to create a set of characters as believable and deeply faulted as humans. Parents that make mistakes, and love their children, whilst desperately trying to see with their ears and hear with their eyes. Then the guardian angels enter the scene, stealing the attention with fabulous make-up and gorgeous garments that complement their respective personalities: vivacious purple trousers and a frilly white blouse with golden accessories for the bubbly Cherub One, and black latex and mesh for the more mysterious Cherub Two. 

They try everything to communicate with the parents and make them aware of their kids’ emotional needs, as well as their own needs, from impersonating Matt’s dead father to guiding Chloe’s yoga session (resulting in one of the most hilarious moments of the play).

The writing, however, sometimes gets too didactic, with moments when the angels seem to be directly lecturing the audience.

Overall, The Boys Are Kissing is a fantastic debut. Tender moments followed by sexy moves and hilarious outbursts, leave the viewer with something to take home with them, whether feeling compelled to talk about compassion with their children, or to purchase a kitchen island.

Benedetta Mancusi
Images: Danny Kaan

The Boys Are Kissing is at Theatre 503 from 16^th January until 4^th February 2023. For further information or to book visit the theatre’s website here. A live stream of the show will be available from 7.30pm on 7^th March 2023, to book visit here.