Cafés and dating apps: A mixture of clichés and tried-and-tested ways to find a partner

Most people long for true love and a partner to go through thick and thin with. But in our hectic working lives and the party lifestyle of our 20s, it’s not easy to find a partner for life. Yet the chances are better than ever before. Dating apps have revolutionised the way we meet and fall in love with people from all over the world. But is this perhaps becoming a problem and should we go back to the roots?

The dating world is changing and leaves many options open

Even before the internet revolutionised our everyday lives, meeting a new partner was usually limited to the local area. Whether at a party in a club, in the café round the corner or even at work – you usually met your future partner casually and perhaps even by chance. In big cities like London, the number of potential dating partners has of course always been high. But especially in more rural areas, there wasn’t much variety in terms of potential dates. Nowadays, all it takes is a glance at your smartphone to book London escorts for an exciting evening or to take the love of your life out on a romantic date. From Tinder to Bumble, hundreds of thousands of singles are waiting to find the perfect partner online. The problem with the whole thing is that the choice of men and women is huge. As a result, many people feel they could be missing out if they jump straight into a relationship with the first person who comes along. However, those who hop from one date to the next will always be looking for something better or more exciting.

Have people become too picky?

No one is perfect and we all have our quirks. When looking for a partner, however, people like to search for the perfect ideal, which can prove to be problematic in reality. The demands on visual appearance, professional success and personal character have risen sharply with the mass of potential dating partners. After all, thanks to dating apps, we no longer have to make compromises. If there is something wrong with the date, hundreds of thousands of men and women are waiting for their chance. It almost seems as if people have become too picky. Yet relationships are often about making compromises, prioritising your partner and sometimes sacrificing your own sensitivities.

Back to the roots: Why dating clichés can be very promising

Sitting in a café, enjoying an espresso and finding your partner for life as if by chance? Honestly, that sounds more like a Hollywood scene than real life. But especially in our digital everyday lives, it can be wonderfully refreshing to challenge your luck and approach the other person. Young people in particular seem to have almost forgotten how to communicate with each other one-on-one. However, the fear of rejection and the smartphone as your favourite means of communication can be thrown overboard when dating. In the worst-case scenario, you’ll be turned down and end up enjoying your coffee alone. In the best case scenario, however, a conversation quickly develops that may even lead to an unplanned date. Of course, it’s important that you approach the person in the right way. Otherwise, the other person may quickly feel taken by surprise and act dismissive. With a little practice, however, the dating cliché can be brought back to life and perhaps even promise success.

Are dating apps a romance killer?

When you meet someone via dating apps, the process is usually similar. Before a first date takes place, people chat online for hours or even days. What may be exciting at first quickly turns into a boring ritual. By the time it comes to a real meeting, you usually already know everything important about the other person. This can lead to a lack of healthy excitement on the first date and you can’t find anything to talk about. Yet it’s the unexpected and spontaneous that makes meeting new people so interesting. From a sober point of view, dating apps can be a real romance killer. It starts with the profile, which often resembles a product description from an online shop. Age, height, hobbies, etc. are often given in the form of a profile and are intended to attract the attention of potential partners. But we are all looking for true love, not a new washing machine. It also becomes particularly problematic when you make big statements online and then get beaten down by your own shyness when you meet someone in person. Many people find it much easier to write than to speak. This can lead to great expectations being raised in the other person even before the date, only for them to be disappointed in the end.

Asking strangers out on a date? You need the right strategy

Asking people out on the spur of the moment is often not very effective. To be successful, you need the right location. This brings us back to the romantic chance encounter in a café or bar. Such places are perfect for exchanging first glances or smiling at other people. This also allows you to gauge whether there is initial interest from the other person. If your eyes meet several times or the smile is reciprocated, you can take the first step straight away. However, if your cautious flirting signals are not reciprocated, you should not go on the offensive any further. Getting to know someone in a café or bar is not about the classic role model of the man having to conquer the woman. Of course, women are also allowed to actively approach men and start a casual conversation. Many men will feel flattered if they don’t have to make the first move.

The most important principle of online dating: anything goes, but nothing is a must

Dating apps like Tinder definitely have their raison d’être and simply fit into our everyday digital lives. It would therefore not make sense to exclude this option per se when looking for a partner. However, it often makes no sense to get lost in this online world of endless dating options. A balanced mix of dating clichés and new opportunities to meet a partner for life is often the best strategy for success.

The editorial unit