Red One

Red One has been stuck in the mud for a while. Mired in rumours of Dwayne-The-Rock’s on-set bad behaviour, a shifting release date and a spiralling $250 million budget, Red One is rumoured to be one of the most expensive Christmas films ever made. The resulting offering, directed by Jake Kasdan of the Jumanji reboot and written by Fast & Furious writer Chris Morgan, is almost a fantastical action-packed, campy romp, with star power from veteran action-heroes Dwayne Johnson and Lucy Liu and comedic relief from a cheeky Chris Evans. Instead, it feels epically empty.

This is another story about Santa going missing. The titular Red One – JK Simmons’s hench Santa – is kidnapped, and The Rock – as a stoical, existentially wobbly security ELF (concerned with rising numbers on the naughty list) – must find him. He enlists the help of hacker/man-baby and quintessential naughty-lister Jake (Chris Evans), who litters freely and gawks at bikini-clad women. Together they embark on a quest through a world of Yuletide mythology, some magic and sci-fi hyper-tech.

The attempt to cross-pollinate these two worlds – one of hyper-tech where Santa counts calories and rides a gold batmobile sleigh – and the other, a fresh take on Yuletide mythology – featuring Santa’s demonic-but-cuddly brother Krampus, performed hilariously by Kristofer Hivju – ultimately falls short by virtue of over-extension.

The visuals are similarly bloated, and unconvincing CGI is elevated to extreme levels. Landscapes feel like a familiar green screen: the North Pole is a city of Blade Runner proportions with a few steepled Harry Potter buildings, complete with Thor’s Bifrost Bridge. Pacy action sequences with loud “thwack” punches and a thumpy soundtrack feel unlikely too, an opportunity for The Rock to just be The Rock on screen.

With a threadbare plot and one-dimensional characterisation, Red One is without an authentic foundation. There is an exception, however, for Jack’s emotional arc to reconnect with his son, and by proxy, his own inner child, that does feel of the moment. But the emotional payoff is crassly spent, as – spoiler alert – he momentarily, literally, turns into a child in The Rock’s eyes. When the pendulum swings to emotional moments elsewhere in the film, sincerity is overtly signposted by a flurry of first-name addresses: “Go, Jake.”

It is Christmas in Red One land because there are fairy lights, an army of plaid-clad extras and presents. But the essential component of a Christmas film, the heart, is missing.